“Self-care is the quiet wisdom of tending to yourself in the season you’re in.”

I just LOVE this quote, it has really inspired me to think about all the ways we can tend ourselves  -through out the actual seasons and the metaphorical seasons of our life.

I hope it lands and inspires you as a human and a coach as well.

Reflection

December is a beautiful month for many and can also be a challenging month. The winter holidays can come with a real mixed bag of ( celebrations and complexities) including extra expectations, heart felt, meaningful traditions, sensory overload, social celebrations that are also social demands, emotionally charged memories – both good and bad, grief, joy, nostalgia, family celebrations, connections and complexities that are family patterns, and financial pressures as well as gifts that delight…

All this layered over the shortest days of the year and the nervous system’s response to shorter days and less light.

And admittedly, I live in Ontario, where winter arrives early and fiercely — cold, dark, snowy, and long. Not all of my readers experience winter this same way.

Some of you live in gentler climates, where December doesn’t mean frozen mornings, breath clouds in the air, or sunsets disappearing before dinnertime. But for most of us,  the days still shorten in a noticeable way. Even without snow, the earlier darkness influences the body, the mood, the energy, and the way we move through this month.

Why This is Important

Winter requires a different kind of self-care than any other season.

It’s about responding to seasonal physiology:

The drop in daylight, the rise in cortisol, the weight of expectations, and the emotional intensity that holidays often carry.

Insight

Self-care is not a feeling or a mood —Self-care is a skill.

A practiced response.

A way of noticing both the light and the dark, what hurts, what comforts, what matters, and what’s needed next.

In trauma-informed coaching, self-care is not “spa days” — Self-care is tending to your relationship with yourself.

It is the decision to tend wisely to the version of you that is both tired and excited, both hibernating and overstimulated, both longing for quiet and wanting to connect, needing softness despite the hard edges of the cold, craving both solitude and connection.

It is the choice to meet yourself wisely where you are at

Maybe winter doesn’t “need” you to be strong.

Maybe winter  “needs” you to be supported?

From the Coaching Chair

A client told me last week, “I have a love-hate relationship with myself during winter, I just don’t feel like my same self and then I beat myself up for not doing enough.

I asked, “What if your “winter self” deserved care, not criticism… how would you treat yourself differently this season?”

She replied, “I’d stop trying to be everything for everyone and let what I can do be enough.”

I asked, “And what if what you “can do” is enough, what does that give you that is meaningful and important?

She replied, “It means I can be something for myself too.”

(And that — right there — noticing what she could be – vs what she could do  – her being’ness vs  her  “doing’ness” was the the beginning of her self-care.)

💬 What If Questions (Winter Self-Care Edition)

• What if you could separate your being’ness for all the things you are busy doing?
• What if you let your energy be lower in the winter without treating it like a problem
• What if rest wasn’t laziness but winter wisdom?
• What if your nervous system needs more warmth than willpower?
• What if your winter self craves predictability more than productivity?What if comfort and regulation count as self-care?
• What if asking for support is self-care?
• What if how you care for yourself now  is where you learn what your future self really needs?
• What if caring for your ‘winter self’ plants the seeds for your spring self?
• What if nurturing yourself now creates hope for later?
• What if you treated yourself like someone you love?
• What if you gave yourself more grace than goals?

Coach-Coach-Yourself Invitation to Practice: 

 (A Winter Self-Care Blueprint)

This is a winter-specific, trauma-informed, hope-building self-care practice that you can use yourself or invite your clients to try as well

STEP 1 — Identify Your Winter (Seasonal) Needs

Ask: “What does my Winter self need that my summer self doesn’t?”

(e.g., warmth, space, quiet, earlier nights, slower mornings, fewer obligations)

STEP 2 — Build Your Winter Self-Care Inventory

A gentle invitation to brainstorm  a list of 10 or so realistic, emotionally nourishing things you could offer yourself this month:

For example: warm showers, reduced social commitments, soft lighting, one weekly “reset hour”, easy meals, grounding rituals, time with someone safe, time alone, gentle movement, early bedtime, rituals that bring comfort, tine to just be?

STEP 3 — Choose One Self care practice Daily

Just one. Self-care is built through consistency, not intensity.

STEP 4 — Check Your Nervous System

After offering yourself something supportive, ask:

“What are some of the ways my choices offer me support and self care?”

Noticing that shift — even tiny — is evidence of regulation.

As you move through this season, you might gently ask yourself or your clients:

“What part of me is asking for care right now, and what support would honor that?”

Why This Matters?

Winter becomes different when you shift from managing the season to partnering with yourself inside its natural rhythm.

Self-care isn’t an outcome. It’s a practice of staying aligned with what matters —one choice, one breath, one moment of wise attention at a time.

I’d love to hear how this landed for you — what you noticed in your own reflections on the seasons of the year and our lives and what showed up in your coaching practice as you explored it?

🌻 Your Invitation

Each week, pause, breathe, and explore:

What if this reflection inspired a meaningful shift in you — and through you, in your clients?

✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences

💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts — your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.