What if We Cultivated Capacity First?

Quote

“Not everything that matters can be carried all at once.”

Reflection

In Part One, we named pressure as a nervous system signal and in Part Two, we explored embodied presence as the practice of noticing and listening to the body so that pressure can ease and capacity can return.

In What If Capacity Is the New Life Skill?, I wrote about the cultural shift I’ve been noticing which moves away from hustle, performance, and constant activation, and toward capacity, connection, community and cultivation . Capacity isn’t about doing less but more about knowing when we have done enough. It is about creating a nervous system foundation within our “Window of Presence” that allows us to stay present with ourselves and others while staying oriented to what matters most moving forward.

What I’m learning is that capacity is not something we access once and then move on from, it’s something we tend to moment to moment, day to day, season to season.

“Capacity is our ability to remain within our Window of Presence: 

to stay present, connected, and oriented to the here and now 

without bracing, collapsing, rushing, or overriding ourselves”. Brad Hardie

When our capacity is low, our nervous system does what it’s evolved to do – our patterns of fight, flight, freeze, and fawn are our adaptive responses to pressure and threat.

Cultivating capacity as a nervous system resource is not about motivation, boundaries, willpower, goals, personality, or character. It’s about recognizing what triggers these patterns, what drains our resources, and becoming more aware of, and more skilled in grounding and regulating our nervous system as an ongoing practice. This is what allows us to build, maintain, and respond with presence and choice, rather than getting stuck in limited thinking, reactions, or automatic responses.

Cultivating capacity, then, means organizing our lives, our work, and our conversations in ways that allow the nervous system to remain resourced enough to stay present.

From a trauma-informed nervous-system lens, I’ve been curious about how capacity responds to certain conditions – what builds it, what sustains it and what drains and depletes it.

They’re patterns I’m learning to pay attention to in my own body and life, and a lens of curiosity I’m bringing into my coaching and conversations.

From a Coaching Perspective

From a coaching perspective, I’ve been reflecting on what we, as Trauma-Informed coaches, are really inviting when we ask our clients about capacity.

When we ask how they notice what builds capacity and what depletes it, we’re not pressing for an outcome or a strategy, instead we can ask in a way that invites awareness and from awareness, more choice and agency, we are in essence asking about what comes before goals and outcome – the conditions that create and cultivate capacity as a resource – so that nervous system is supported to move towards more of what matters most.

We’re curious about and listening for how they know when capacity is present, what that feels like in their bodies, what signals tell them they’re resourced enough to stay within their window of presence, what shows up when something begins to tip towards protection patterns and when the nervous system is resourced enough to begin to explore possibilities and chocie.

At the same time, as coaches, we’re aware that how we ask matters, how our pace, tone.presence and listening attunes to what they are saying and what their body is showing. Before our client’s  can tune into their internal cues, the coaching space itself has to feel regulated and safe enough to do so. In that way, the coach becomes part of the nervous system environment by modeling an embodied presence and enoughness.

From this lens, coaching becomes more about supporting clients to develop an awareness of their  own signals  and  what helps them to sustain presence and cultivate more capacity

This way of working aligns closely with the ICF core competencies, specifically evoking awareness, cultivating trust and safety, and maintaining presence, not as techniques, but as lived, embodied nervous system coaching practices.

What If Questions

What if protecting capacity is a form of responsibility, not avoidance?
What if staying within my Window of Presence is foundational?
What signals do younotice when capacity is being stretched too far?
What else becomes possible when rest and recovery are practiced?
What if cultivating capacity is more sustainable than pushing and pressure?
What if noticing depletion earlier is a skill that can be learned?What if capacity expands not through effort, but through safety. Presence  and relationship?

What is possible if the way I work, lead, and coach either protects or cultivates capacity?
What if my presence is part of the nervous system environment for others?
What if modeling regulation is more impactful than offering solutions?

What if slowing down actually creates more choice, not less?
What if staying resourced is what allows energy  to be sustained over time?
What if cultivating capacity is how sustainability becomes possible?

Closing

Cultivating capacity creates the conditions for presence.

And from presence, new ways of being, becoming, growing, and growth become possible, and more aligned choices can emerge.

🌻Invitation to Continue the Conversation

Each week, pause, breathe, and explore:

What if this reflection inspired a meaningful shift in you — and through you, in your clients?

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If you’ve enjoyed this reflection, you’re warmly invited to explore additional What If Wednesday writings here:  👉 https://traumainformedcoaching.com/blog

If this reflection resonates and you’re curious about integrating trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware practices into your coaching or helping work, you’re welcome to explore the incredible Trauma-Informed Coaching we do at Moving the Human Spirit. 

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✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences

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