What If Wednesday: PART ONE What If Reducing Pressure is part of the practice?
January 21, 2026 – Nikol Kuiken
Quote
“The body doesn’t resist change. It resists pressure.” – Brad Hardie, TICC, MCC
Reflection
Over the years, as I’ve coached clients and spoken to people who want to have meaningful conversations, I’ve noticed something that has taken me a long time to name: an internal pressure that is felt during a conversation whether coaching or not.
I feel it in myself as a sensation of tightening in my neck and shoulders, that sense that something needs to be resolved in a coaching session. For me, it is a physical sense, a buzz of “not ok-ness” in my chest. I’ve learned that when I feel it in my own body, it’s often already in the conversation as well.
I’m learning more about somatics and embodied presence through a trauma informed lens, so I’ve been paying more attention to these sensations as “Interoception”. What I’m calling “Interoception nervous system signals” closely relates to what neuroscience describes as interoceptive signals which is the body’s internal cues about stress, safety and capacity that often arise as sensations like tightening, buzzing or internal pressure before the bodily sensation produces a conscious thought.
Internal Pressure seems to me to show up as a kind of energy, a buzz, an emotional reaching with more effort. A feeling of “not enough-ness” before the thought comes to mind.
As coaches it can emerge when we feel a pressure of a “should” to be useful, reassuring and able to “deliver an outcome”. Pressure is a subtle cue that perhaps we aren’t fully grounded in our coaching approach, we aren’t feeling like our presence is enough or that our partnership with the client isn’t established well enough, like when we sense that the safety we have isn’t as evident “as it should be” or when we ourselves are uncomfortable with things as they are showing up in our conversation. Sometimes it’s in the subtle pull to prove or demonstrate our value as a coach to our client, or it presses on something unconscious within ourselves like our inner critic or imposter syndrome that comes with the territory.
This doesn’t mean we are “bad coaches”: it’s a very common human state. However, I do think noticing internal pressure is important and a strong reminder, a feedback loop or a signal for us to pause and to check in with ourselves on how embodied and/or present we are with our clients in the moment.
Why This Matters
Pressure limits thinking. It “buzzes” below the surface as something hard to name but harder to ignore and it’s a signal of dissonance felt in the body. The degree of pressure experienced is a measure of where we are vs. where we can shift into. It’s often one of the first FELT cues of dysregulation.
When this pressure is present, our ability to see possibilities and to make choices tightens into either/or thinking, it sounds like our client is “should-ing” themselves; “should I stay or go”, “should I do or not do”, “should I fix or avoid”? It is this mental/emotional push/pull type of limited thinking that shows up in coaching and in conversations where we can notice that our clients mind is being hijacked or stuck in a loop with sensing pressure as the first sign.
From the Coach’s Chair – An Observation
From the coach’s chair, our inner question is rarely, “What intervention is needed?”
More often, the deeper, more meaningfully and relevant questions are: Where is pressure showing up in this system right now and what if we attend to it instead of pushing past it?
Another way of asking this is:
How much pressure is this system carrying and is it within capacity?
What is the pressure here asking for before anything else happens?
How much pressure is here right now and who is holding it?
What If Questions
- What if reducing pressure is the practice?
- What if pressure is information?
- What if my need to perform and deliver unintentionally creates pressure for my client?
- What if my body notices pressure before my mind does?
- What if safety, not insight, is the first requirement for change?
- What if presence is more regulating than the perfect question?
- What if pressure is showing me when I am no longer grounded?
- What if easing effort restores partnership?
- What if silence is an act of care?
- What if the pausing and noticing is where trust is reestablished in the conversation?
- What if my role is to notice what’s not being said?
- What if pressure eases when something is it named?
- What if capacity expands when expectations are let go of?
- What if regulation is the real catalyst for insight?
- What if trust grows when I let go of outcome?
ICF Core Competency Alignment
This reflection aligns directly with the International Coaching Federation Core Competencies, particularly:
Cultivates Trust and Safety
By centering on reducing pressure we build nervous system capacity, pacing, and choice. This approach supports a safe, respectful coaching environment where clients are not pushed beyond what their system can hold. Trust and safety are established not through performance, but through attunement and respect for limits.
Maintains Presence
Letting capacity lead requires the coach to recognize when the system is pressured and remain grounded, regulated, and responsive to nervous system signals, honoring silence, rhythm, and embodied feedback rather than rushing toward outcome. Presence becomes a nervous system practice, not just a conversational skill.
Together, these competencies reflect a trauma-informed understanding.
Additional Reading and Research
Interoception and Mental Health: A Roadmap
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6054486/
The Emerging Science of Interoception: Sensing, Integrating, and Regulating Internal Body Signals
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC7780231/
Closing
Reducing pressure doesn’t mean lowering standards or avoiding meaningful work.It means creating the conditions where thinking, possibilities and choice expands and becomes available again so that our clients aligned agency is online instead of their limited nervous system adaptations.
When pressure eases, nervous systems regulate.
When nervous systems are feeling safe, trust becomes possible. With trust and safety in place, we can support Moving the Human Spirit forward towards what matters most
✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences.
💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts as your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.
Or email me directly at nikol@movingthehumanspirit.com.
🌻Invitation to Continue the Conversation
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What if this reflection inspired a meaningful shift in you — and through you, in your clients?
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✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences
💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts — your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.
About the Author: Nikol K
