What If Wednesday: PART TWO Embodied Presence as a Nervous System Practice?

January 28, 2026 – Nikol Kuiken

Quote

“The nervous system is always asking one primary question: Am I safe right now?” – — Stephen Porges

Reflection

In Part One, I wrote about sensed internal pressure as a “nervous system signal,” which closely relates to what neuroscience describes as interoceptive signals—the body’s internal cues about stress, safety, and capacity that often arise as felt sensations. It shows up not necessarily because something is wrong, but because something matters to the nervous system.

As I’ve been learning more about embodied presence, somatics, and trauma-informed coaching, I’m starting to relate to that pressure differently. If pressure is a signal, then embodied presence is the practice of understanding and being with it so that the nervous system can settle.

When pressure is met with presence, capacity often begins to return.

What I’m learning is that embodied presence isn’t just about listening carefully to a client’s words. It’s also about sensing what’s happening in the body while staying grounded in myself. I’m paying more attention to both my client’s and my own breath, posture, pace, tone, energy, gestures, and what’s happening in my own body as I listen. At the same time, I am paying attention to and checking in on what’s also happening in my client’s felt sense or body sensations.

This kind of being present asks me to stay with what a client is experiencing holistically, while still staying connected to myself.

Why This Matters

When that pressure builds, the conversation speeds up. Either-or thinking shows up in language, and I personally feel a pull toward fixing or proving something. I notice that the client’s resources seem to become more limited. Even highly capable clients can lose access to their own inner wisdom when their nervous system is triggered.

Embodied presence interrupts this. When I slow down enough to notice and ask the client to name what’s happening in the body, the nervous system can calm and recalibrate. The client and I are able to co-regulate by acknowledging the body’s cues, creating more opportunity for regulated capacity to explore forward.

The Window of Presence

Through my trauma-informed training, I’ve been introduced to the idea of the Window of Presence, and it’s given me a helpful way to understand capacity in real time. Brad Hardie, Co-Founder and Lead Facilitator of MTHS and the Trauma-Informed Coach Certification, describes it this way:

“Presence is staying oriented to the here and now. Our goal is for clients to reflect, feel, and stay connected without bracing, collapsing, rushing, or overriding themselves. This difficulty can emerge before overt signs of dysregulation.

The Window of Presence is useful in trauma-informed coaching. It describes the space where a person can remain present and connected without urgency or collapse, having enough internal room to think and feel at once. From a nervous-system lens, this is where capacity becomes available.”

What I’m learning is that people don’t have to look obviously dysregulated to be close to the edges of their Window of Presence. Often, I can observe early signs of this by noticing what is happening in the body. From there, I’m better able to notice or gently invite awareness around where a client might be within their Window of Presence.

I will ask questions like:
“When you say this, what do you notice in your body?”
“If that was information your body is sharing with you, what does it mean?”
“What does the sensation have to say?”
“Is the sensation changing as you talk about it, or staying the same?”
“As you notice this, do you feel yourself becoming more present, or more pulled away?”
“What helps your body feel more settled in this moment?”

What I’m noticing is that when these sensations or interoceptive signals are noticed, named, and acknowledged as information or feedback from the body, the whole system—mind, body, and spirit—has more space and more capacity. From there, the client is better able to stay resourced and capable within their Window of Presence.

This is showing me that the body, or internal felt sense, has as much impact in the coaching conversation as words and narrative.

From the Coach’s Chair – An Observation

As I practice coaching through a more embodied, trauma-informed lens, my attention has shifted to more noticing.

When a client seems to be in a fight pattern, I often notice intensity or determination in their language, tension in the shoulders or jaw, and shallow breath. I might ask:

 “I notice some intensity here. What are you aware of in your body right now?”
“As you say that, what sensations are you noticing?”
“What feels most present in your body at this moment?”
“Where do you notice that in your body?”

When a client seems to be in a flight pattern, I notice urgency, over-planning, rapid movement in the conversation, and restlessness in the body. I might ask:

 “I notice the pace picking up. What are you aware of in your body right now?”
“As you talk about this, what sensations are showing up?”
“What do you notice in your body as you describe this?”
“Where do you feel that most clearly?”

When a client seems to be in a freeze pattern, I notice long pauses, difficulty finding words, heaviness, or numbness. In these moments, doing less and staying present feels more supportive. I might ask:

 “I notice a pause here. What’s happening in your body as you pause?”
“As you sit with this, what sensations are present?”
“Is there anything you’re aware of in your body at this moment?”

When a client seems to be in a fawn pattern, I notice agreeableness, checking for approval, or a tendency to prioritize my response over their own experience. Gently inviting attention back to their own feelings can ease relational pressure. I might ask:

 “I notice you checking in with me. What are you aware of in your body right now?”
“As you look to see how this lands, what sensations do you notice?”
“What’s happening in your body as you say yes?”
“What do you notice in yourself at this moment?”

What If Questions 

1.  What if the sensations in your body are information?
2. What if pausing is a sign of awareness?
3. What if your body is responding to something that matters?
4.  What if pressure is pointing to the edge of your Window of Presence?
5.  What if slowing the conversation allows more of you to stay present?
6.  What if capacity returns when the body feels acknowledged?
7.  What if clarity doesn’t come from thinking harder, but from sensing more?
8. What if your body is offering a different kind of feedback than words?
9.  What if pressure is a signal, not a direction?
10.  What if being present is enough?
11.  What if your nervous system sets the pace?
12.  What if regulation begins with noticing?
13.  What if safety comes before insight?

Closing

Embodied presence isn’t a tool or technique I am performing as a coach. It’s not something I am doing. It’s something I am practicing, being, and becoming.

Brad Hardie names this in a way that closely reflects what I’m noticing in my own practice:

“Presence is not something we can fake. It is something to feel, practice, protect, and notice. When presence widens, even slightly, capacity often follows. Not through force, but through safety, relationship, and time. That is often where the most meaningful coaching happens, and when we are in our Window of Presence, we are doing our best work in moving the human spirit. For the client and for ourselves.”

✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences.

💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts as your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.

Or email me directly at nikol@movingthehumanspirit.com.

🌻Invitation to Continue the Conversation

Each week, pause, breathe, and explore:

What if this reflection inspired a meaningful shift in you — and through you, in your clients?

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If you’ve enjoyed this reflection, you’re warmly invited to explore additional What If Wednesday writings here:  👉 https://traumainformedcoaching.com/blog

If this reflection resonates and you’re curious about integrating trauma-informed, nervous-system-aware practices into your coaching or helping work, you’re welcome to explore the incredible Trauma-Informed Coaching we do at Moving the Human Spirit. 

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✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences

💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts — your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.