Part Five – What If Resonance Is How We Gain Clarity
Quote
A felt sense is an internal aura that encompasses everything you feel and know about the given subject at a given time.
It encompasses it and communicates it to you all at once rather than detail by detail.”
– Eugene Gendlin, in his work on Focusing and the Felt Sense
Reflection
How do we know when we know?
In Part One, I wrote about internal pressure as a nervous system signal, how it shows up as tightening, buzzing, a subtle “not ok-ness” that limits thinking before we even know what’s happening.
In Part Two, I explored embodied presence as a nervous system practice, noticing sensations, slowing the pace, and protecting the Window of Presence so capacity can return.
In Part Three, I wrote about cultivating capacity first, not as motivation or willpower, but as a resource we tend to moment to moment so that we can stay present without triggering coping patterns like bracing, collapsing, rushing, or overriding ourselves.
In Part Four, we named how aligned agency grows from cultivated capacity, not as pushing through, but as being able to choose from more than one real option when the nervous system is resourced enough for imagination, what if scenarios, possibilities and reflection to come back online in the brain/mind.
So what comes next? (I’m not suggesting that our client’s path to development, or our own progress, is as linear as this reads). I think as coaches and in our coaching process, we often circle back and we check in on progress, as we partner and re-contract through time and in time as the coaching sessions progress.
Once our clients capacity is cultivated and becoming livable sustainable and aligned another coaching question is:
How Do We Gain Clarity As Choices Become Available?
I want to explore “what’s next” theoretically, when our client holistically indicates stability in their capacity and thinking, as then we can begin to explore possibilities and options. As we check in on this forward momentum and progress as an aligned agency showing up in our clients system, then we can utilize embodied presence as a tool of measuring resonance. In order to begin to assess and measure what goals, growth, direction and outcomes are emerging, we can ask the brain, mind, body connection “what are you feeling sensing in your body as you feel into this possibility? “What is your body saying to you as you explore these choices?” Our inner wisdom within is experiential. When we feel this resonance with our body and values, our choices and decision become more clear. Then, we can focus mindfully, intentionally, and with embodied presence on what matters most. This is where embodied resonance becomes a tool to measure clarity and confidence needed to move forward. Resonance is how embodied presence and aligned agency inform action and outcomes.
In this definition, resonance becomes the lived/felt sense of “rightness” of available choices. When a goal is aligned with agency and stable in the foundation of capacity, then there is a brain/mind/body connection that can be sensed. “This feels right, this feels best, I feel clear, I feel calm, I feel confident, I feel aligned.” These are cues from our client that they have the capacity for post traumatic growth.
This is where resonance comes in. Resonance is not a thought. It’s a felt (body) sensation.
It’s the way the whole system (brain, mind, and body) signals that this fits, this is doable, this feels right, this is sustainable, this is safe enough to move forward with or towards.
Resonance becomes the measure of aligned agency, it gives us clarity to choice making. It helps us evaluate options not only by logic, but by what the nervous system can actually sustain. When resonance is present, aligned agency stops feeling like a concept.
It becomes something we can sense.
🌟Why This Matters
When capacity is low, the mind tries to create certainty through effort. It loops. It analyzes. It pushes. It looks for the “right” answer in either this…or that. Options narrow and “shoulding” increases.
When capacity is present, the nervous system can stay within the Window of Presence long enough to evaluate options with more than cognition. We can imagine outcomes and sense them.
Resonance can show up as:
- Less internal pressure
- A softening or settling
- Steadier breath
- Less internal debate “should I stay or should I go…, its either this or that and both options feel stuck”
- A sense of “this fits” without effort
- A feeling of momentum that comes with more ease, not more effort
Resonance helps distinguish between:
- Action that is driven by should’ing, will power, pushing, striving urgency
- And action that is guided by capacity, agency and values that resonate.
It helps us discern whether we are choosing from agency, or choosing from a coping pattern of (mal)adaptation. From an aligned nervous system, resonance in its most simple terms is: When the brain (amygdala), mind (prefrontal cortex), and body (felt sense) are able to stay present in “the here and now” and the nervous system feels safer. The mind can imagine possibilities and the body can help measure which options resonate. With that “bodily measured” alignment then we can build a vision, outcomes, solutions, goals and action steps.
They are patterns I’m learning to pay attention to in my own body and life and a lens of curiosity I’m bringing into my coaching and conversations.
In A Coaching Session
In coaching conversations, this often shows up after a client has moved from stuckness into possibility.
They have options now. They can imagine more than one direction.
But they still don’t know which one to choose.
This is where resonance becomes a compassionate inquiry.
Instead of pushing toward action planning too soon, we can slow down and ask:
- As if you can imagine each option, what happens in your body?
- Where do you notice effort in your body and where do you experience a sense of ease?
- Where do you feel calm, curious, creative, connected or confident (Positive states of capacity)?
- Which options reduce internal pressure or conflict in your body?
- Which choice feels safe enough and doable enough to move toward?
- What feels like it resonates with your values and vision?
- What feels best for your desired outcome for being, doing and having?
As we explore the “What if’s” with the mind on board, we can bring the body with us, “As you imagine this possibility, what are you noticing in your body?”
“Does this choice feel as safe as it feels doable?”
Resonance gives shape to aligned agency, it helps our client feel their way into clarity.
From this lens, coaching becomes more about supporting clients to develop an awareness of their own signals and what helps them to sustain presence, cultivate more capacity, have aligned agency and gain clarity
This way of working aligns closely with the ICF core competencies, specifically evoking awareness not as a techniques but as felt, lived embodied nervous system coaching practice.
Cultivating Your Inner Coach
What is my nervous system state as I enter this conversation?
Am I grounded enough to stay present with my client’s current state?
Where might I be subtly leading or pushing for effort instead of ease?
What sensations am I noticing in my body as the client speaks?
What am I noticing in my client’s body, posture, breath and gestures as I listen?
What might their body be communicating?
Am I holding space from regulation, or from expectation?
What does my system need right now to remain present, available and attuned to my client “here and now”?
Am I listening for resonance or for action?
💬What If Questions
What if resonance is the nervous system’s way of clarifying aligned agency?
What if clarity comes from sensing what the body feels is right?
What if internal pressure is a signal that I’m trying to choose too soon?
What if the body measures sustainability before the mind can explain it?
What if the most aligned choice is the one that reduces internal pressure?
What if resonance is how values become lived, not just named?
What if pushing through is a sign I’ve left my Window of Presence?
What if choice becomes clearer when the body is included in the conversation?
What if alignment feels easier, not harder?
What if action steps can wait until resonance is present?
Closing Invitation
Cultivating capacity is what makes agency possible.
Agency is what makes choice available.
And resonance is what gives us clarity and confidence
Resonance turns values and possibilities into directions and outcomes.
It gives the nervous system a destination it can actually move toward, what matters most.
What if the path forward doesn’t become clear by thinking harder, but by sensing what fits, what settles, what resonates… 📚
✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences.
💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts, as your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.
Or email me directly at nikol@movingthehumanspirit.com.
🌻Research and Additional Reading
There are some really great resources to support this:
Felt Sense & Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing
The “felt sense” originates from psychologist Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing method, where it acts as a holistic, pre-verbal bodily awareness that integrates emotions, knowing, and situation-specific wisdom all at once.
Research shows clients accessing felt sense during therapy predict better outcomes, as it bridges limbic (implicit) and cortical (explicit) processing for deeper change.
Carl Rogers’ Paradox of Acceptance
Rogers’ quote highlights unconditional positive regard: radical self-acceptance creates the safety for authentic change, countering self-criticism that rigidifies patterns.
This aligns with humanistic therapy evidence, where non-judgmental attunement fosters agency and post-traumatic growth.
Polyvagal Theory & Nervous System Resonance
Resonance ties to ventral vagal activation (social engagement, calm coherence), where bodily cues like softening breath signal safety for aligned choice-making.
Stephen Porges’ work links RSA (vagal tone) to emotional regulation, supporting “window of presence” as measurable neurophysiological stability.
Window of Tolerance & Embodied Capacity
Dan Siegel’s window of tolerance frames “internal pressure” (hyperarousal: bracing/pushing) vs. presence (optimal zone: resonance/ease), expandable via somatic awareness. Trauma-informed practices use this for capacity-building, distinguishing coping (maladaptation) from agency.
Integration in Trauma-Informed Coaching
Felt Sense Polyvagal Model (Jan Winhall) merges Gendlin with polyvagal for embodied trauma work, validating resonance as interoceptive “rightness” for sustainable outcomes grounded in neuroscience-backed relational somatics.
✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences
💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts — your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.
About the Author: Libby Pease
