“Hope isn’t a feeling; it’s the willingness to reach toward something that matters.”
Reflection
This week marks the Winter Solstice (December 21 2025) — a quiet turning point of the year. It’s often named “the darkest day of the year,” From here, the light begins to return — slowly, steadily, almost too subtly to notice — especially in January and Febraury.
It reminds me that it is a time to practice hope.
What I really love about this quote is the idea of willingness. When “life things” feel big or seem to require a lot of effort, I often ask myself, “What if I was willing… what if I was willing to trust, willing to show up, willing to start, willing to begin, willing to let go, willing to give grace… willing to hope for the things that feel further ‘out there’?”
Even though the return of daylight hours is slow and subtle, our physiology begins to recalibrate in small shifts such as cueing our hormones, our nervous system, and eventually our mind. As the body begins to adjust, we sense into quiet trust in the direction things are moving.
I think hope works in much the same way.
It doesn’t happen all at once. It grows like the returning light — spring still out of reach, winter still to navigate, yet we move toward that future “something,” a warmth through slow, steady shifts. Not through “shoulding” ourselves or forcing ourselves or pretending or the pressure to “fake it till you make it,” but through small moments of willingness to reach toward what matters.
Post-traumatic growth is also like hope — in fact, they are different parts of the same practice of being willing to reach towards what’s meaningful.
It’s allowing slow, steady shifts in a direction that feels supportive – a willingness to believe another season of your life could hold something more – more meaningful, more fulfilling, more peaceful, more ease, more safety -more hopeful.
Growth is a willingness to practice hope with intention. Hope isn’t something you wait to feel. Hope is something you practice through willingness.
Sometimes that practice begins as simply as:
I’m willing to be willing.
Willingness becomes a sense of direction — a kind of “inner compass” pointing towards what matters. And hope isn’t the whole map; it’s more like the trail markers on a hike — the small signs that let us know we are following the right path.
Like the Solstice, the days don’t brighten all at once. The light returns slowly, quietly, but just enough to feel hopeful and guide us forward.
What if we were willing to practice being willing to hope?
From the Coaching Chair
A client shared with me, “I feel really stuck in this pattern of not getting to the things I know I should do. Sometimes everything, even small things, feels like too much. I feel like I’ll never get there — like I’m stuck here.”
She gestured around herself, cueing me to notice that she feels stuck in herself.
I mirrored her movement and asked, “Would you be willing to move this a little further from you?”
She chuckled self-consciously but then made the same swirling motion farther away from her body.
I followed up: “Would you be willing to invite something else into that space you just created?”
We paused.
She said, “I’d like to have more hope around me.”
I reflected back: “Would you be willing to invite more hope around you?”
She paused, softened, and said, “That would be nice.”
I asked, “If you had more hope around you, what would you notice then?”
She replied, “I’d feel more space around me. I don’t feel so stuck in this rut.”
Exactly.
Hope doesn’t require certainty. It just asks for a bit of space for willingness.
🌿 Science Corner — How Hope Shapes the Brain + Nervous System
Snyder’s Hope Theory “Hope is a motivational cognitive process that changes how the brain and body engage with stress, problem-solving, and goal-directed behavior.”
— C. R. Snyder
Psychological hope increases:
• Agency — the sense “I can take steps”
• Pathways thinking — the brain’s ability to see options
• Resilience under stress
Source:
Snyder, C. R. (2002). Hope Theory: Rainbows in the Mind. Psychological Inquiry, 13(4), 249–275.
https://doi.org/10.1207/S15327965PLI1304_01
🌟 Why This Matters
Hope is more than an emotion — it’s “the brain’s ability to see options, it’s how we reach for something more, how we move towards meaning, possibility, and growth.
Research as shown above shows that when we are willing to hold even a small sense of hope of what might be possible, we’re more able to navigate challenges, make supportive choices, and move toward lives that feel more aligned and fulfilling. A willingness to imagine a future that feels a little more supportive.
The nervous system responds to hope. This is why being willing to hope matters:
- it helps us connect to the life we want to move toward
- it reshapes how we respond to stress
- it strengthens growth in a supportive direction
- it helps us move out of stuckness
🌟 What If Questions — Solstice + Hope Edition (Coach Approach)
- What if being willing to be willing was enough for today?
- What if hope was simply willingness?
- What if small shifts were enough?
- What if your winter practice supported hope?
- What if being willing to be willing was enough for now?
- What if connection was one of the ways hope grows?
- What if the Solstice reminded you that subtle change still counts?
- What if hope didn’t need clarity, only a sense of direction?
- What if tending to yourself in the season of life you are in helps hope grow?
- What if the returning light mirrored your own quiet return to possibility?
✨ What If Questions About Hope — Even If You Aren’t a Coach
- What if hope didn’t have to feel big to matter?
- What if the smallest sign of possibility counted as real hope-building?
- What if I allowed myself to move toward what feels meaningful, even a little?
- What if hope begins with noticing what’s still important to me?
- What if I let myself believe that things can shift, even slowly?
- What if I didn’t need certainty to take a step toward something that matters?
- What if the return of light reminds me that change often starts quietly?
- What if I’m already practicing hope without realizing it?
- What if I trusted that another season of my life could feel more supportive and meaningful?
Coach–Coach–Yourself Practice
(Solstice Hope Edition) Ways to Practice Hope
- What are some of the things that matter to me?
- Where do I sense hope can come from?
- What supports my willingness today?
Sources and Additional Reading: Additional Hope + Willingness Research
- Hope and the Brain — Hope activates motivation and reward circuits
(Bates & Nieto, 2019)
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cobeha.2018.12.014
- Hope Reduces Stress Physiology — Linked to lower cortisol, better recovery
(Conversano et al., 2010)
https://doi.org/10.2174/1745017901006010007
- Willingness and Psychological Flexibility (ACT)
(Hayes, 2016)
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2016.11.006
- Hope Predicts Better Physical Health
(Gallagher & Lopez, 2018)
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2018.02.003
- Polyvagal Theory — Hope as Neuroception of Possibility
(Porges, 2011)
https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203953781 - Meaning Making Supports Regulation
(Park, 2010)
https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018799
Your Invitation This Winter Solstice
This Solstice, you’re invited to gently practice hope —
not as a feeling you wait for,
but as a willingness you return to,
one meaningful moment at a time.
It invites you into a simple practice of being willing —
willing to notice the small shifts that are already underway.
✨ This blog is an open invitation to join the Trauma-Informed Coaching conversation — where compassion, neuroscience, and presence meet growth. I’d love to hear your reflections or experiences
💬 Reply to this post or share your thoughts — your story might be the reflection someone else needs this week.
About the Author: Nikol K
