What Happens When You Don’t Speak in Trauma-Informed Coaching

“Silence is sometimes the most powerful tool in the room.” — Brené Brown

Reflection:
In one session, a client stopped mid‑sentence, eyes down, breathing shallow. I felt the urge to ask another question, but something in the moment seemed important, so I stayed quiet, softened my breath, and waited. After a long—and a bit uncomfortable—pause, she whispered, “I’ve never said that out loud.” Silence had done what my questions could not—it acknowledged an insight and provided a moment of safety for something more meaningful to emerge.

As coaches, our work with silence goes beyond simply waiting; it’s about sensing what’s happening in the quiet. 

Does the pause carry thinking, fear, hesitation, reflection, or something new coming to the surface? 

A Trauma‑Informed approach invites us to stay with what’s present—to meet whatever arises with curiosity and care, rather than trying to “move it’ somewhere. In doing so, we demonstrate the ICF Core Competency of Cultivating Trust and Safety—creating a space where clients feel supported, respected, and free to explore at their own pace.

Insight:
Silence isn’t passive—it’s an active practice of presence. 

When we meet silence with calm curiosity, we invite trust to deepen and awareness to emerge. Holding space for silence beautifully embodies the ICF Core Competency of Cultivating Trust and Safety—it shows clients they are supported, respected, and free to explore at their own pace. In doing so, we also live the essence of Maintains Presence and Evokes Awareness, three intertwined competencies that call us to be fully with our clients and to foster genuine presence. 

Why This Matters

In trauma-informed coaching, silence is never merely the absence of words—it is the intentional creation of space for deeper work. Neuroscience tells us that reflection, and integration need moments of stillness, where the nervous system can settle and new neural connections can form.

For many clients, especially those carrying trauma, silence is often their first experience of being truly heard. These moments invite the whole system to feel safe enough for insight, emotion, and self-trust to emerge.

This is why silence matters. It is the foundation for courageous self-reflection and  lasting insight that words alone rarely achieve.

What If?

• What if the insights that arrive in silence are the ones that matter most to your client’s growth?
• What if silence wasn’t empty, but the space is where your client’s wisdom lives? 
• What if your presence alone could create safety without saying a single word?
• What if every pause was an invitation for your client to access their inner knowledge?
• What if giving space for silence is how you show trust in your client’s capacity to navigate their experience?

Cultivating Your Inner Coach

• Notice your relationship with silence—does it feel uncomfortable, awkward, or natural when it shows up? 
• How can you use silence intentionally?
• Could you let the silence speak before adding words, allowing for what might show up?

Sources:

The Power of Silence in Coaching – ICF Blog
The Art of Listening in Coaching – ICF
6 Types of Silence in Coaching – Coaching Studies
Mindful Communication and Presence – Greater Good Science Center

I’d love to hear how this landed for you — what you noticed in your own reflections on the power of silence, and what showed up in your coaching practice as you explored it. 

Your reflections help keep these conversations alive and meaningful. 

Feel free to comment below or email me directly at nikol@movingthehumanspirit.com,  I’d genuinely love to hear from you!